Welcome to the Right Now Series

Right now I feel light, like the world has decided to defy its own terms. As much as I hate to admit it, the city made me heavy. It weighed me down more and more every day until I was so deep in my own bullshit that that I couldn’t figure a way out. It was a slow and gradual decay of my own morals that I spent a lifetime instilling. So slow that I didn’t even realize what was happening. I don’t know when it started or what caused me to end certain chapters, but I did. I did in fact make some choices I’m not proud of in the city that I love the most. I did a lot of wrong, but I did so much right.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason, whether you’re religious or not, I think you could agree on that one. There has to be a purpose for all of the chaos and rabid self destruction I’ve inflicted onto myself. I mean, what else would a writer occupy lined pages with if it weren’t for the stories?

Right now is a time for reflection. It’s a time to look all of my memories and demons in the eye and find the good that came from them. Without the skeletons in the closet it would be empty and that would be boring. I was told today that everyone has them and sometimes sharing is what makes a little less daunting. It’s kind of like our fingerprints if you think about it. No one has had the same past, some come close, but there is just something about every story, every memory that makes it unique to its person. So as I’m feeling light in the comfort of my home, away from the stress of bills and self image that awaited me in that city, just know that for the first time in a long time I’m doing okay.

Your life is a composition of right nows. Whether or not they’re ideal is only a temporary emotion, but one day when they’re a skeleton in your closet look at them as memories and think of me.